Right Now

Right now the house is quiet.

You would consider this a miracle and awe in its incredible power had you heard the non-stop scream/crying that went on for a solid half an hour just earlier this morning.

This chorus of anger was preceding by a morning of alternating crying tantrums from both child parties since waking, so in short I have been hearing nothing but baby/toddler cries grating on my mind all day. Thank goodness I didn't wake up with a headache.

And thank even more goodness for Jon who gets up with the children every day before me and tries to let me sleep in as long as possible before he has to go to work. (He doesn't necessarily wake up much before me since I sometimes nurse Edwin at 5:30 or 6am and then just go back to sleep, but being UP for the day and walking around doing things is something I really loathe, so Jon is great at letting me put that off as long as possible right now while I'm off track in school. He also gets up repeatedly each night with the children if they wake up unscheduled. My husband is amazing.)

Trying to feed Edwin solid foods is a disaster. He is FURIOUS. The teething and snotty-cold that he is also enduring at the moment do not help. The only thing that finally got both Kate and Edwin to quiet down today was when I stopped responding and just let them cry at me, then quietly I changed their diapers, went to sit on the couch, and nursed Edwin for an hour while reading bedtime stories to Kate until she laid herself down with a blanket and passed out.

Since I felt like locking the kids in their room this morning with some toys and books and wishing them well for the day to let them cry out their miseries until Jon gets home from work later, I thought that now--while they're quiet--would be a good time to write about all the things I LOVE about these children, and then later I can smile and appreciate all their wonderfulness :)

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1. I absolutely love when Edwin crawls up to me, mouth open in a giant two-teethed smile, and knocks his forehead against mine and then giggles!!

2. His little soft baby cheeks nuzzle against my face when he is happy, and he grabs my hair with his chubby wrists to pull me closer and slobber his face all over mine in happy baby laughs. No boundaries.

3. I love how cute he is opening and closing doors all over the apartment. He thinks it is great fun and it could entertain him for hours.

4. Edwin just wants to be with me all the time! It is so flattering - and also INCREDIBLY frustrating when I just want to walk down the hall and pee by myself. He can't stand it when I'm out of sight for very long. When I have my own things to do, it is not ok. It is only acceptable for him to be alone when he has crawled away of his own volition.

5. The funniest thing Edwin does lately is race-crawl his speedy baby self into the kitchen to dump Margo's food and water all over the floor. It's only hilarious because when we catch him mid-way and say, "nooo!" he turns wide-eyed in surprise to look at us and then darts back to his task with the most fiery baby-determination I have ever seen! He crawls with a vengeance that would rival any cheetah hunting prey in the wild. His defiance of us and surety that he will succeed is really entertaining!

6. I love how Edwin growls and snarls like a baby lion. He very seriously "rawrs!" wherever he goes. He'll even growl back at you with smiles if you try and talk to him. It's cute to see his eyes light up when he feels like you're speaking his language!

7. Kate just wants a friend. All of the time. All of the hours. All of the day.

She wants us to read to her, and then sing to her, and then feed her, and then dance with her, and then color for her, and then make cookies with her, and then wrap blankets around her, and then put socks on her feet, and then do it all over again.

8. I love how she specifically holds my wedding ring finger to lead me around the house. She came in to get me out of bed this morning, and had to make sure she was holding the finger with my ring on it before we left the room.

9. Kate is an artist and could draw/color/fingerpaint/watercolor/create alllllll day. Mostly she picks cool colors of blues and greens. I'm so happy that she wants to be expressive and finds joy in creating.

10. She loves to hug me randomly and give me kisses. It makes me so happy when I tell her "I love you!" and she replies, "ovfu mommy."

11. Kate and Edwin are both obsessed with Jon's beard and giggle when he rubs his whiskers on their faces. When we draw I ask Kate to tell me what comes next. She'll tell me the steps: "kitty eyes, circle round (for the face), kitty ears, kitty whiskers, kitty mouth, kitty nose, kitty toes (don't know where that came from), and kitty beard!!" Yep. All animals must have a beard like dad.

12. Both children love music, and are enthralled with Jon's guitar. It is their favorite toy to strum and touch. Edwin also tries to bite the strings, but I really think it's a sign of affection.

The other day Jon's guitar slipped against the desk where it was leaning, and worried that it would topple over Kate said, "Oh no, music! Don't fall down!"

13. Their love for animals is so sweet, and they adore Margo much too much for their (and her) own good. Kate is getting better at petting Margo softly, but mostly just wants to grab her fur and squeeze her extra tight. Edwin finds Margo to be absolutely hilarious and squeals whenever she walks by. Margo loves to lick Edwin in the mouth (which we thoroughly discourage), but somehow they all get along. I love seeing their happiness all together.

14. I love it when Jon comes home and lets the kids crawl all over him and rolls around on the floor to tickle them and snuggle. He is a great dad (even when he is super tired), and I just love these people.

Thanks for Judith Kester inspiring this post by a quote she shared on Instagram yesterday:

"The truth is that the more intimately you know someone, the more clearly you'll see their flaws. That's just the way it is. This is why marriages fail, why children are abandoned, why friendships don't last. You might think you love someone until you see the way they act when they're out of money or under pressure or hungry, for goodness' sake. Love is something different. Love is choosing to serve someone and be with someone in spite of their filthy heart. Love is patient and kind, love is deliberate. Love is hard. Love is pain and sacrifice, it's seeing the darkness in another person and defying the impulse to jump ship."

So thankful for my humans.